Saturday, March 17, 2007

Choosing To Stay - Or Go

Deciding if a relationship or marriage is ‘worth the effort’ can be an extremely difficult thing to do. You are probably feeling angry, disgusted, or even repulsed. It takes time to sort out your thoughts and feelings, and it probably will take a while. There are a few things, though, that may help you make this tough and possibly life changing decision.

Think About It – Think, think, think, and then think some more. A major decision like this requires thinking! And don’t think with anger, vengeance, or grief in your heart, but look at the situation logically. Do you love your partner? Are you willing to spend time and effort involved in getting back what you once had, no matter what happened? Relationships and marriages are something that can be very beautiful, and even such things as extra marital affairs, affairs with neighbors, co-workers, and friends, can be worked out with love, counseling, and time. Remember to push your hate, jealousy, and fear away when you consider all of this, because they will only cloud your mind.

Considering Counseling – Couples and marriage counseling can be very helpful to relationships that are in trouble, or possibly ending. Counseling may be able to help bring that missing piece, the element that isn’t there, back into the relationship. Going to couples counseling also doesn’t mean you’re ready to keep trying with your relationship – and it doesn’t mean you’re not. It means you want help in deciding if it’s really what you want out of life, out of everything.

Talk To Your Partner – You’re not the only one calling the shots here – talk to your partner and decide, together, if you’re both ready and willing to stay in the relationship and work it out. Sometimes, even if you are willing, your partner won’t be, and you need to know one way or the other. If you’re together or not, you are – or at least, were at one point – a team, and this is a team effort. Discussing this can also help, because you can discuss exactly what went wrong in the relationship. If this does happen, be careful as to not put the blame on just one of you – you’re a team, remember? Just calmly talk, and see what comes out of it.

Search for Outside Advice – If you’re having trouble with this situation, talk to friends, neighbors, co-workers, even your parents if need be, and get advice from someone who can help you look at this issue objectively and reasonably, especially if you’re unable to place your hurtful and angry thoughts aside. Advice from trusted sources can help greatly in times of need, and it could make all the difference.

Always remember that you’re not alone in this relationship, and therefore not in this decision. You have to be willing to forgive, and go into thought with an open mind and an open heart. Nothing will be solved overnight, but you may just might be able to get a better relationship than you bargained for – if you both work at it.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Relationship Advice: Get Stronger And Able To Love Again In The Midst of A Breakup

Breaking up is hard to do no matter what anyone says. It is something that is going to change your life and how you love. You have to have the ability to be strong and to face anything that is thrown your way when you are dealing with a break up. You will see that when you are prepared and ready to move on, you will have an easier time getting what you need from your next relationship and loving bigger and even better.

We all go through a break up in some point of our life. It can be rough but keep it simple and with as little pain as possible. Breakups are usually handled differently in every case and you have to make sure that you are following through with the best plan of action for you.

1) Know what is going on

You should realize what is happening and why you are breaking up. Make it clear to yourself that you are not to blame and that it does actually take two to make a relationship work. Accept the pain that you are feeling and know that you are a good and strong person no matter what.

Allow yourself to have some distance from the breakup and figure out what you need to move on to next. Stay friends with the other person if you would like, but do not have immediate contact with them for a time after the break up. This will help you find some healing time and get your thoughts together.

2) Think clearly

After a breakup your head my not be on straight. It is very important to make sure that you are giving yourself time to figure out what you want in life. What type of relationship are you looking for and what kind of guy? Think about what you want and deserve and then you will be able to move on to a different kind of love. You will find love again and you have to make sure that you believe this about yourself. It is the only way that you can move on and have a happy life that you so deserve.

3) Keep your friends close

Your friends are so important after a breakup. You need someone to lean on. You do not want to lean on another guy and go into a relationship right away. You need some time to heal and to think things through. Your friends will be there for you and able to help you with support that is necessary. Use this time to get closer to your friends and to have a little bit of fun. You can explore your options and move onto so much more.

4) Do not hold on to the past

When you want to move onto another relationship after a break up, you have to be willing to let go of the past. Do not bring up the subject of your old flame. All this will do is scare the other perspective relationship away. You need to think about your future and move past all of the good times that you once had. Avoid anything that may remind you of the other person for as long as you need to. It does not have to be forever but just until you have reached a point where you do not need to be afraid of how you are feeling.

5) You should never overreact to the situation

Do not panic. Your life is not over just because you are going through a breakup. Chances are you will find love again and it will be bigger and better this time around. You do not have anything to worry about and you will find someone that will make your heart full of love again. There are many emotions that you will have to deal with when you are going through a break up.

Overreacting is only going to make things worse and seem like you are going through so much more than what you really are. Take time out for yourself and find things that you should be doing in your newfound free time.

6) Find happiness

You can find happiness again. You have to stay positive when you are going through a breakup. You need to focus on the areas of your life that make you happy. You have to spend more time with your friends and family and do things that you love to do. Travel to places that you have always wanted to go, meet new people or sit down with a great book that you have always wanted to read. No matter what you love to do the most, this is your chance to do it.

7) Let go

There is just no reason to stay heart broken forever. You have to let it go and move on. You can build your next relationship to a bigger and better experience and you can grow stronger in the process. Life is one big lesson and breaking up is just one assignment in your chapter.

About the Author

Learn how you can save your relationship and get your lover back with my amazing relationship restoration formula at http://www.RetrieveALover.com Read rave reviews from happy readers all over the world! Download free MP3s training program and learn how you can manage the Ups and Downs in life and in relationship at http://www.FamilyAndRelationships.com

Friday, February 23, 2007

Dealing With Suspicion And Mistrust

Suspicion and mistrust of a spouse or loved one in a relationship is a very serious problem, and can cause a great deal of strife in the relationship. Knowing how to deal with this is key to a healthy, happy relationship.

But many people don’t know how to deal with this, and instead let it breed in them until it almost ‘takes over’ you. If you are suspicious of your partner, you need to decide the best route to take in this situation. Here’s a few idea’s.

• Talk to Them – Talk to your partner! One of the main ways to maintain a great, healthy relationship is communication – so talk, discuss, know what’s going on in your partners world, and let he or she know what’s going on in yours. Let your partner know about your suspicion, be it with extra marital affairs, drugs, or something else entirely. It will make your partner feel loved and trusted if you confide in him or her, and it should make you feel better, too.

• Watch for Irregularities in Otherwise Normal Patterns – Is he or she walking the dog for hours at a time? Coming home late from work and leaving early, without excuses or apologies? If you suspect something like affairs with neighbors, friends, co-workers, or even a complete stranger, then this might help you. Don’t jump to conclusions because your partner came home a few minutes late from something, and don’t let your imagination run wild. That won’t do either of you any good, and you’ll probably end up hurting you both. Instead, try to give him or her the benefit of the doubt until you can talk and find out the reasons for the unusual activity.

• Odd or Unusual Spending? – Watch your bank accounts for unusual or excess spending, which is often linked with affairs or dug abuse. If you see an item or two that you can’t identify, and it’s not around any holidays (Often spouses with ask their others where money went, just to find out it was a surprise birthday present!), you may want to casually ask. Remember, your partner deserves the benefit of the doubt, and getting upset, angry, or jumping to conclusions will hurt your other, because he or she doesn’t feel trusted.

• Odd Calls – Often a cell phone is the main communication, especially for a person on the go. If you’re extremely suspicious, you may be able to obtain phone records either online, or from the company. This should only be used as a last-resort method, and is considered by most people a very large invasion of privacy.


Remember that any suspicion should be thought over thoroughly, and if you feel insecure in your relationship, counseling is available to help you and your loved one work through any issues presented.

A marriage, or even a relationship, is hard, but you have to have trust in your partner – and yourself – because after all, isn’t that what a good relationship has the most of? Trust, love, and communication.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Mending a Broken Heart

Finding Support And Caring – For You! (Part 2 of 10)

Once you realise that indeed your heart had been broken, the next stage is to accept that you will need help in getting over it, and that also, you must take care of yourself too.

Caring for yourself is a vitally important part of your overall recovery so from today, try to start looking after yourself with kindness and love.

You will need to nurture both your body and mind as both are equally important in bringing about positive change in your life.

With all the emotional turmoil going on in your life at present, it’s unlikely that you feel very proud of yourself or feel that you are a very preserving person.

Caring for your body and mind will help you regain good and positive feelings about yourself by re-enforcing a very important message – that you are a unique, worthwhile and wonderful person.

The fault is that no matter how your heartbreak has come about, you’re a victim of shock – and therefore you must treat yourself accordingly.

And this can happen just as easily to men as well as women.

The best way to handle this is to try to imagine how you would want to look after someone else – someone who is very special to you – after they had had a major trauma in their lives.

Wouldn’t you want to help them get lots of rest, feed them healthy and delicious food and provide them with books and DVDs to help cheer them up?

You might also spoil them a little with thoughtful gifts that would help the nurturing process, such as a body lotion, or a herb pillow or maybe a lovely soothing massage?

Whatever it is that you would do for someone else in this situation, is exactly what you need to be doing for yourself right now!

Do things for yourself that help you feel better, like walking by the sea, having long scented baths by candlelight etc.
Try to get out into the fresh air at least once a day so that you feel fresher and raise your spirits.

Allow time every day to pamper yourself… Even the most macho of guys can soak in a fragrant bath whilst listening to your favourite music.

Caring acts like these will help remind you that you are special, even if your heart is telling you that nothing matters anymore.

Sleep is another very important factor in your recovery and whilst some people sleep a lot when they are distressed, othes find sleep at such times, very elusive.

If you are wakeful in the night, don’t toss and turn. Instead, get up and make yourself a warm milky drink, read a book, or watch a DVD, something that will cheer you up in some way.

Do try to avoid using alcohol as a sedative as it produces somewhat unnatural and fitful sleep, and increasing your dependence on booze at this diificult time, is not going to be helpful.

If your sleeping patterns do not improve, you could try some of the common herbal remedies that promote good sleep, or if things still do not improve, you may need to seek medical help, particularly in the short to medium term.

So, in the early days of your heartbreak, the most important things you can do are;

• Talk about how you feel to friends and family.
• Eat healthily and give yourself a few special treats.
• Go easy on alcohol!
• Take some exercise.
• Play any music that you like. it’s ok to be sad!
• Get out into the fresh air at least once a day.
• Take plenty of relaxing, scented baths.
• Treat your body with love and kindness; allow yourself to feel nurtured and cared for.

Allowing other people to support you.

Keeping your heartbreak private will not help you in the long run, so, no matter how difficult it is for you, do find someone to confide in.

Let other people help you, whether that be family, work colleagues or close friends. The more you talk in the early days, the quicker you will recover.

Usually, part of the recovery process with our friends will involve learning about their past romantic history. Its not a bad thing to discover for yourself, that whatever you’re currently going through, others have been through similar situations, and maybe even worse.

Share these experiences but make sure that, most of all, you talk about you. As you start to open up and share your pain, it immediately ceases to have such a powerful hold on you and then you’ll be well on the path to recovery.

Become aware of your own goodness and worth as a person, and as hard as it can be at times of great personal distress, be aware of other peoples difficulties and try to contribute positively, even if it’s just a kind word or a smile. When you do this, you’ll feel better about yourself and will be getting back in touch with your own goodness, another important step on your road to recovery.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

After The Affair - Rebuilding Trust

An affair can be a truly devastating thing to a person, and to a marriage – especially affairs with neighbors, friends, or co-workers. If you are the person who had the affair, you’re probably not going to see this issue as a very big deal – you’ll want to forget the entire thing and move on with your life. But you have to understand you broke a very deep bond, and probably years of trust, which is extremely painful.

But with a lot of time, and work, it can be healed. Trust can be rebuilt, if both are willing to take the time. And it will take time – just like it took time to build that trust up to begin with. It will take, and this is not an exaggeration, over a year.

What is recommending in this situation to help is counseling. It will help create a less stressful, less angry environment where you both can talk about what happened, and discuss why.

A Few Trust-Building Tips for the One Who Had the Affair
Building the trust back in your relationship will take a lot of time, but there a few different things you can do to help regain your love’s trust.

• Say What You Mean – Don’t say one thing, but have your body language say another – when trust is so shaky of a thing in a relationship, you need to mean exactly what you say. Men, if your wife asks you if she looks nice, but you care for what she’s wearing, don’t just lie and say ‘you look great’ – tell her she’s a beautiful person, and that you love her. You may just get extra brownie points for that.
• Make a Schedule and Keep It! – Your partner will be suspicious of you a lot more, and will watch what you do, when you do it, and how. Keep a pattern of going to work, going out with friends, etc. Don’t massively change things – when you’re going to be home late, even five minutes, call! Don’t start coming home a half an hour late from work every day without a good explanation, or without informing your partner. In relationships, especially ones that have experienced extra marital affairs, this is extremely important.
• Talk About Needy? – Understand your other’s needs and be accommodating. Respect the fact that he or she will need space, or need you to comfort them. Talk about your needs, too, probably in couples counseling, and you both need to help one another.

You Can Get Through This – Together
You can mend your trust, and learn to love each other again. It will take time, but it may just be worth it.

The important thing is to talk, and openly discuss the affair. Painful discussions will be in the plenty, but you both will be stronger for it. It takes a lot of healing, and those talks can help. Slowly working through problems is the correct way to deal with things, especially in this case.

You can make it work. It can happen.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Coping with Infidelity

Infidelity is a painful ordeal that affects over half of married couples in the US. Many women have compared extra marital affairs with the pain of being abused, raped, or even kidnapped – and they have said that the affair is worse.

There are ways to cope with the pain of infidelity, and you can move on with your life – you can recover. The following are tips, words of advice from men and woman who have dealt with their husbands and wives having affairs with neighbors, friends, co-workers, or someone else entirely. The following have helped them move past the incident in their lives, and hopefully this will help you, too.

• Take Time For Yourself – Take time for yourself – pamper you! Go shopping, golfing, to a spa or get a facial. Take a little bit of time for yourself. Many people who have had a spouse cheat on them feel unworthy, abused, and unloved. Make yourself feel good – go buy something that looks great on you, go dancing or out with friends, just do something that make you feel good about you as a person.
• Talk to Your Partner – It may hurt, but you need to talk with your spouse and create an understanding between you two. Put aside your anger, your jealousy, and your fear – discuss what went wrong with the relationship, and what you’re willing to do to make it right. There will no doubt be a great many painful conversations involved with this, but you need to try – if you two decide not to work it out, it is still good to receive a level of closure with this. If you do wish to attempt to work it out, counseling and long discussions would be a great deal of help – a balm to your wounds, so you might say.
• Take Up Relaxation – Take up something like meditation, or take a yoga class – learning to relax, to empty your head and your heart, would help you feel less anxiety, stress, and anger towards the situation, and it would help you move on towards something better, be it with someone else, with your partner, or with yourself. You can learn to love again, love yourself, and others, and you can trust again.
• Get Out of The House – Get out! Go out with friends, go shopping, dancing, even traveling. Don’t coop yourself up and feel depressed, because that’s not going to help you, or anyone around you. Being active, especially with others, is healthy and fun. Even going to the gym will make you feel good – exercise creates endorphins, and endorphins make you happier. So go on and get out of the house and have a good time.
• Don’t Dwell – Thinking about the affair your spouse had again and again will tear you up, from the inside out. Don’t dwell on what happened – instead, only think about it when it is time, like in counseling, or when you and your spouse are discussing it. Dwelling on it will only hurt you.


You can recover from this, and you can feel good about yourself again, learning to trust and love yourself, your spouse, or even someone new, if that is the route you wish to take. Just remember that it will take time to recover from the pain, and you may never completely get over the situation.

How to Survive an Affair

An affair is something that can devastate a marriage, and tear two people who where once so very close apart. It is truly one of the most painful things that can happen to a couple.

But you’re not alone – more than half of spouses experience infidelity. A very large percentage of woman and men are forced into excruciating mental pain. But many relationships can survive this painful act, and become stronger – it truly depends on if you can ever trust each other again, and love like you once did.

How Does An Affair Develop?
It causes so much pain – why would anyone inflict something on someone they love and care about?

Affairs most often start with lack of attention in the relationship, due to stress, children, work, or family problems. One member in the relationship feels the need, conscious or subconscious, to look elsewhere for the attention they once felt.

Many find this attention is someone they often see and socialize with – a friend, co-worker, or neighbor. Their comfort and trust with that other person will often turn into something more – it doesn’t mean your spouse doesn’t love you, or doesn’t care anymore. It is something that can happen without the thought of consequences, and without the thought to another.

My Spouse Had Affairs With Neighbors, Co-Workers, or Friends – How Can I Deal With Extra Marital Affairs?
The painful truth is some couples can never recover from an affair. But I strongly warn you against attempting to recover yourselves, if you feel you can continue the marriage – a couples therapist is the best idea.

I know, I know – “A therapist is too expensive”, “A therapist is a stupid idea!”, and of course “Couples therapy would be so embarrassing!” Couples therapy isn’t necessarily expensive (A divorce would surely cost more), and would very much be too expensive to save a marriage?

Counseling is something many, many married couples go through to help strengthen their trust – or to return it to the relationship. It is surely nothing to be ashamed about, and can create a bond between you and your spouse that may be stronger than it ever was.

If you do choose to not explore the option of counseling, and instead attempt to solve this on your own, there are things that might be able to help you.

• Remember that getting so angry with your spouse that you cannot think straight will not help anyone.
• Violence, whether directed at your spouse, your wall, or something else entirely, will never help the situation.
• In the majority of cases, sitting down after you both have had time to calm down and talking about exactly what happened, and where one of you strayed.
• Decide what extra effort both of you can put into the relationship to make it work – after all, a marriage isn’t a one way street. Both of you need to work towards bettering the relationship.
• Relationships take time. This will not heal overnight, and nothing will get better if you don’t accept that it will not come quickly. It might take longer than a year for trust to blossom and grow within the marriage again, so, be patient. If you both work at it, it will come.

Ultimately, you must look into your soul and decide if you can forgive your spouse, learn to trust again, and make your commitment work. These are hard questions, and they will take time, but don’t give up until you get a definite answer, one not based on anger or revenge.


For further information, tips and advice on surviving an affair, you might like to check out Dr Frank Gunzburg's ebook

Ten Tips to Save Your Marriage

Getting married is the easy part – keeping a marriage together is the hard part these days. With work, the kids, stress, soccer practice and homework, it tends to get hectic – so here are ten tips to keep your relationship comfortable, loving, caring one.


1. Make Time – Life is tough, hectic, and unpredictable. With all of the every day stress and pain, it’s hard to make time for one another. But everything seems insignificant if your marriage falls into pieces. You have to make the time to be together, to talk, relax, and reconnect. Make a point once a week to spend a night together, and make sure you never miss it.
2. Show Your Love – Show you love your spouse by giving gifts, compliments, or simply a tight, long, loving embrace every day. A little bit goes a long way, and even your work schedules conflict, or it’s been a long, hectic day, a sweet kiss and a few gentle words will make all the difference in the world. It may seem like something only love sick puppies do, but you know what they say, “The thing you did to get ‘em is the thing you do to keep ‘em.”
3. Don’t Nag – Some people think the more they tell the person to do something, the more motivated that person will be to actually do it, but in relationships, often it’s the opposite. Telling your spouse to do something just before they go to bed and just after they wake up, and all hours between, will not make the person want to do it more! Gently remind your partner about something, but nagging and repeatedly asking will not do anyone any good.
4. Keep the Romance Alive – With many marriages, the heavy load of family, work, and stress makes it hard to keep romance anywhere near. There are small, meaningful things you can do every day that can help you. Sending a small love letter by email, or even writing one out by hand, is something that could mean a lot more then you might know to your spouse. Offer to pamper your spouse with massages or gentle foot rubs after work – without expecting sex to come of it. Let your spouse sleep in late one morning while you do the extra chores, or watch the kids. Little things can mean a lot.
5. Avoid Extra Marital Affairs – Avoid them like the plague! Nothing will hurt a marriage more than having affairs with neighbors, co-workers, or friends! There is always another option, and always keep your spouse, and your spouses feelings, in mind. If you feel the urge to have such affairs, it is very important you and your spouse go through counseling together. It could truly save your marriage.
6. Take Care of You – Spend that extra bit of time on your makeup, or at the gym. It might seem like time wasted to you, but when your spouse comes home and sees you looking great, he’ll want to look at you more often – and you’ll feel better about yourself, too.
7. Communication is Key – Screaming is never okay in a relationship, and neither is getting so angry you can’t think – or see – straight, although I’m sure both happen in the majority of relationships. Sitting down together and talking calmly about the situation at hand is always better than throwing your great grandmother’s china at each other, now isn’t it?
8. Separate But Equal – it’s important to have activities and interests that you and your spouse share, but it’s just as important to have differences as well. Always respect the fact that you both won’t always like the same things, and that you can go and do things that don’t involve the other.
9. Talk to Each Other! – Communication is key in a relationship! Talk to your spouse, discuss work, friends, stress – everything! If you can’t talk to your spouse, then you have to figure out exactly why. Communication is a building block of love, and if you don’t have that, you need to fix it.
10. Go on Dates – I’m not joking – go out on dates! Find a babysitter if you have kids and go out to eat, to movies, or a nice long walk in the park. Reconnect with each other, and spend a few worry free hours with each other.


Remember, marriage is hard work – and making it work will take a lot of effort for both of you, but it can work, and you can enjoy marital bliss.


For further information, tips and advice on this subject, you might like to check out 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

How Compatible Are You?

All your friends say you two are a great couple, are perfect for each other, and will stay together forever. But how compatible are you, really?

There are a few key things you take into consideration when trying to figure out if you’re the perfect couple or not, especially before considering marriage.

Have you taken the time to learn about each other thoroughly? Do you know the other’s hopes? Dreams? Aspirations? If you don’t, you need to! If something in your plans for the future conflicts with those of your partner, you need to discuss this in great deal with your partner. Relationships have ended because one didn’t want children, and one did.

Is your relationship really going anywhere – and be honest, thinking of more than just sex. Are you more than friends who hang out together? Can you hold an intelligent conversation with your other? Sure, you might not quite care now, but of you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with this person, you’ll need to be able to truly talk to one another.

Okay, so in new relationships, most people tend to ignore what they perceive as ‘little’ flaws in their partners, only to find they want to strangle them when they become bigger, nagging problems. Everyone’s done it at one point or another. You have to truly take the time to get to know the other – trust me, you might just save yourself extra marital affairs, minor assaults, and affairs with neighbors, co-workers, and the like.

Face it – your relationship cannot live on sex, going out with friends, and ‘clubbing’ alone. There are layers to a person, and you have to ‘dig deep’ to really find out if you two are Mr. and Mrs. Right-For-Each-Other. You can party; it doesn’t mean you can spend the rest of your life with each other. Don’t overlook qualities you hate because of other qualities.

Fighting – Where Does Natural Bickering Become an Endless Power Struggle?
What do you two argue about? How well, truly, can you get along? In most relationships, fighting happens – it’s just a part of life.

But fighting shouldn’t happen all the time, and not about every little thing. Does it seem like your relationship has turned into a constant struggle for power, or control? Relationships aren’t supposed to be like this – you’re supposed to love and care for one another, with the occasional argument, not the other way around.

One cannot always be in control, because a relationship – or in turn, a marriage – isn’t about power, control, or being more important then the other. You’re partners, which mean that you’re equals. There is no greater, no lesser.

In the end, only the both of you, through getting to know the other inside and out, can decide if you’re right for each other. It’s not something that should be decided after only one day, and shouldn’t be taken lightly. But you can find someone you’re very attracted to, and have great compatibility with – it may not come as soon as you wish it to, but it will come.



For further information, tips and advice on this subject, you might like to check out 1000 Questions For Couples

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Mending a Broken Heart

Accepting Your Pain (Part 1 of 10)

If you are unfortunate enough to have had your heart broken, you will know that it is, without doubt, the worst pain in the world. It hurts like hell!

For people caught up in heartbreak it’s devastating, isolating and extremely scary.

Living with a broken heart is one of life’s most dreadful experiences that seems to be one endless, bottomless stream of pain that seems impossible to deal with.

But it can be dealt with and your heart will mend. It’s just that you don’t believe it right now.

There are many situations in which you can feel broken hearted.

• When a partner or a close friend dies.
• When you've been dumped or dumped someone yourself.
• When love is unrequited.
• When a marriage or long term relationship ends.
• When an affair comes to an end.
• When a first love comes to an end.

And maybe losing a first love is the hardest heartbreak of them all to cope with. As children and adults, we are conditioned to believe that nice things happen to nice people and that terrible things happen to just bad people.

Unfortunately, this is not true and it is a fact of life that really terrible things happen to really lovely people.

Whilst having a broken heart is a huge deal when you’re young, it can also be incredibly painful in later life, not least because in these times of living longer, various changes of careers, etc. it is no longer uncommon for a person to have several significant relationships, and for every one that ends, there is likely to be some heartbreak involved.

In the process of feeling “broken hearted” we often become highly illogical in our thoughts, thinking things like “I will never love again” or “no one will ever love me again” or that “my life is over”!

Whilst this kind of negative thinking is quite normal, it isn’t accurate, and by repeating these thoughts to yourself over and over again, you are making yourself feel very much worse than you need be.

In truth, even though you may have suffered a great loss, there is absolutely no reason why you should not love, or be loved, again.

So part of the answer is to try your best to stop making wild assumptions about the future, and just concentrate instead on getting through the awfulness of the present.

You will need to look after yourself both physically and mentally and examine what your broken relationship was really like.

Then, and only then, can you begin to rebuild your social and romantic life.