Marriage and Relationships: March 2007

Deciding if a relationship or marriage is ‘worth the effort’ can be an extremely difficult thing to do. You are probably feeling angry, disgusted, or even repulsed. It takes time to sort out your thoughts and feelings, and it probably will take a while. There are a few things, though, that may help you make this tough and possibly life changing decision.

Think About It – Think, think, think, and then think some more. A major decision like this requires thinking! And don’t think with anger, vengeance, or grief in your heart, but look at the situation logically. Do you love your partner? Are you willing to spend time and effort involved in getting back what you once had, no matter what happened? Relationships and marriages are something that can be very beautiful, and even such things as extra marital affairs, affairs with neighbors, co-workers, and friends, can be worked out with love, counseling, and time. Remember to push your hate, jealousy, and fear away when you consider all of this, because they will only cloud your mind.

Considering Counseling – Couples and marriage counseling can be very helpful to relationships that are in trouble, or possibly ending. Counseling may be able to help bring that missing piece, the element that isn’t there, back into the relationship. Going to couples counseling also doesn’t mean you’re ready to keep trying with your relationship – and it doesn’t mean you’re not. It means you want help in deciding if it’s really what you want out of life, out of everything.

Talk To Your Partner – You’re not the only one calling the shots here – talk to your partner and decide, together, if you’re both ready and willing to stay in the relationship and work it out. Sometimes, even if you are willing, your partner won’t be, and you need to know one way or the other. If you’re together or not, you are – or at least, were at one point – a team, and this is a team effort. Discussing this can also help, because you can discuss exactly what went wrong in the relationship. If this does happen, be careful as to not put the blame on just one of you – you’re a team, remember? Just calmly talk, and see what comes out of it.

Search for Outside Advice – If you’re having trouble with this situation, talk to friends, neighbors, co-workers, even your parents if need be, and get advice from someone who can help you look at this issue objectively and reasonably, especially if you’re unable to place your hurtful and angry thoughts aside. Advice from trusted sources can help greatly in times of need, and it could make all the difference.

Always remember that you’re not alone in this relationship, and therefore not in this decision. You have to be willing to forgive, and go into thought with an open mind and an open heart. Nothing will be solved overnight, but you may just might be able to get a better relationship than you bargained for – if you both work at it.

Breaking up is hard to do no matter what anyone says. It is something that is going to change your life and how you love. You have to have the ability to be strong and to face anything that is thrown your way when you are dealing with a break up. You will see that when you are prepared and ready to move on, you will have an easier time getting what you need from your next relationship and loving bigger and even better.

We all go through a break up in some point of our life. It can be rough but keep it simple and with as little pain as possible. Breakups are usually handled differently in every case and you have to make sure that you are following through with the best plan of action for you.

1) Know what is going on

You should realize what is happening and why you are breaking up. Make it clear to yourself that you are not to blame and that it does actually take two to make a relationship work. Accept the pain that you are feeling and know that you are a good and strong person no matter what.

Allow yourself to have some distance from the breakup and figure out what you need to move on to next. Stay friends with the other person if you would like, but do not have immediate contact with them for a time after the break up. This will help you find some healing time and get your thoughts together.

2) Think clearly

After a breakup your head my not be on straight. It is very important to make sure that you are giving yourself time to figure out what you want in life. What type of relationship are you looking for and what kind of guy? Think about what you want and deserve and then you will be able to move on to a different kind of love. You will find love again and you have to make sure that you believe this about yourself. It is the only way that you can move on and have a happy life that you so deserve.

3) Keep your friends close

Your friends are so important after a breakup. You need someone to lean on. You do not want to lean on another guy and go into a relationship right away. You need some time to heal and to think things through. Your friends will be there for you and able to help you with support that is necessary. Use this time to get closer to your friends and to have a little bit of fun. You can explore your options and move onto so much more.

4) Do not hold on to the past

When you want to move onto another relationship after a break up, you have to be willing to let go of the past. Do not bring up the subject of your old flame. All this will do is scare the other perspective relationship away. You need to think about your future and move past all of the good times that you once had. Avoid anything that may remind you of the other person for as long as you need to. It does not have to be forever but just until you have reached a point where you do not need to be afraid of how you are feeling.

5) You should never overreact to the situation

Do not panic. Your life is not over just because you are going through a breakup. Chances are you will find love again and it will be bigger and better this time around. You do not have anything to worry about and you will find someone that will make your heart full of love again. There are many emotions that you will have to deal with when you are going through a break up.

Overreacting is only going to make things worse and seem like you are going through so much more than what you really are. Take time out for yourself and find things that you should be doing in your newfound free time.

6) Find happiness

You can find happiness again. You have to stay positive when you are going through a breakup. You need to focus on the areas of your life that make you happy. You have to spend more time with your friends and family and do things that you love to do. Travel to places that you have always wanted to go, meet new people or sit down with a great book that you have always wanted to read. No matter what you love to do the most, this is your chance to do it.

7) Let go

There is just no reason to stay heart broken forever. You have to let it go and move on. You can build your next relationship to a bigger and better experience and you can grow stronger in the process. Life is one big lesson and breaking up is just one assignment in your chapter.

About the Author

Learn how you can save your relationship and get your lover back with my amazing relationship restoration formula at http://www.RetrieveALover.com Read rave reviews from happy readers all over the world! Download free MP3s training program and learn how you can manage the Ups and Downs in life and in relationship at http://www.FamilyAndRelationships.com