Choosing To Stay - Or Go

Deciding if a relationship or marriage is ‘worth the effort’ can be an extremely difficult thing to do. You are probably feeling angry, disgusted, or even repulsed. It takes time to sort out your thoughts and feelings, and it probably will take a while. There are a few things, though, that may help you make this tough and possibly life changing decision.

Think About It – Think, think, think, and then think some more. A major decision like this requires thinking! And don’t think with anger, vengeance, or grief in your heart, but look at the situation logically. Do you love your partner? Are you willing to spend time and effort involved in getting back what you once had, no matter what happened? Relationships and marriages are something that can be very beautiful, and even such things as extra marital affairs, affairs with neighbors, co-workers, and friends, can be worked out with love, counseling, and time. Remember to push your hate, jealousy, and fear away when you consider all of this, because they will only cloud your mind.

Considering Counseling – Couples and marriage counseling can be very helpful to relationships that are in trouble, or possibly ending. Counseling may be able to help bring that missing piece, the element that isn’t there, back into the relationship. Going to couples counseling also doesn’t mean you’re ready to keep trying with your relationship – and it doesn’t mean you’re not. It means you want help in deciding if it’s really what you want out of life, out of everything.

Talk To Your Partner – You’re not the only one calling the shots here – talk to your partner and decide, together, if you’re both ready and willing to stay in the relationship and work it out. Sometimes, even if you are willing, your partner won’t be, and you need to know one way or the other. If you’re together or not, you are – or at least, were at one point – a team, and this is a team effort. Discussing this can also help, because you can discuss exactly what went wrong in the relationship. If this does happen, be careful as to not put the blame on just one of you – you’re a team, remember? Just calmly talk, and see what comes out of it.

Search for Outside Advice – If you’re having trouble with this situation, talk to friends, neighbors, co-workers, even your parents if need be, and get advice from someone who can help you look at this issue objectively and reasonably, especially if you’re unable to place your hurtful and angry thoughts aside. Advice from trusted sources can help greatly in times of need, and it could make all the difference.

Always remember that you’re not alone in this relationship, and therefore not in this decision. You have to be willing to forgive, and go into thought with an open mind and an open heart. Nothing will be solved overnight, but you may just might be able to get a better relationship than you bargained for – if you both work at it.