Suspicion and mistrust of a spouse or loved one in a relationship is a very serious problem, and can cause a great deal of strife in the relationship. Knowing how to deal with this is key to a healthy, happy relationship.
But many people don’t know how to deal with this, and instead let it breed in them until it almost ‘takes over’ you. If you are suspicious of your partner, you need to decide the best route to take in this situation. Here’s a few idea’s.
• Talk to Them – Talk to your partner! One of the main ways to maintain a great, healthy relationship is communication – so talk, discuss, know what’s going on in your partners world, and let he or she know what’s going on in yours. Let your partner know about your suspicion, be it with extra marital affairs, drugs, or something else entirely. It will make your partner feel loved and trusted if you confide in him or her, and it should make you feel better, too.
• Watch for Irregularities in Otherwise Normal Patterns – Is he or she walking the dog for hours at a time? Coming home late from work and leaving early, without excuses or apologies? If you suspect something like affairs with neighbors, friends, co-workers, or even a complete stranger, then this might help you. Don’t jump to conclusions because your partner came home a few minutes late from something, and don’t let your imagination run wild. That won’t do either of you any good, and you’ll probably end up hurting you both. Instead, try to give him or her the benefit of the doubt until you can talk and find out the reasons for the unusual activity.
• Odd or Unusual Spending? – Watch your bank accounts for unusual or excess spending, which is often linked with affairs or dug abuse. If you see an item or two that you can’t identify, and it’s not around any holidays (Often spouses with ask their others where money went, just to find out it was a surprise birthday present!), you may want to casually ask. Remember, your partner deserves the benefit of the doubt, and getting upset, angry, or jumping to conclusions will hurt your other, because he or she doesn’t feel trusted.
• Odd Calls – Often a cell phone is the main communication, especially for a person on the go. If you’re extremely suspicious, you may be able to obtain phone records either online, or from the company. This should only be used as a last-resort method, and is considered by most people a very large invasion of privacy.
Remember that any suspicion should be thought over thoroughly, and if you feel insecure in your relationship, counseling is available to help you and your loved one work through any issues presented.
A marriage, or even a relationship, is hard, but you have to have trust in your partner – and yourself – because after all, isn’t that what a good relationship has the most of? Trust, love, and communication.