Mending a Broken Heart

Accepting Your Pain (Part 1 of 10)

If you are unfortunate enough to have had your heart broken, you will know that it is, without doubt, the worst pain in the world. It hurts like hell!

For people caught up in heartbreak it’s devastating, isolating and extremely scary.

Living with a broken heart is one of life’s most dreadful experiences that seems to be one endless, bottomless stream of pain that seems impossible to deal with.

But it can be dealt with and your heart will mend. It’s just that you don’t believe it right now.

There are many situations in which you can feel broken hearted.

• When a partner or a close friend dies.
• When you've been dumped or dumped someone yourself.
• When love is unrequited.
• When a marriage or long term relationship ends.
• When an affair comes to an end.
• When a first love comes to an end.

And maybe losing a first love is the hardest heartbreak of them all to cope with. As children and adults, we are conditioned to believe that nice things happen to nice people and that terrible things happen to just bad people.

Unfortunately, this is not true and it is a fact of life that really terrible things happen to really lovely people.

Whilst having a broken heart is a huge deal when you’re young, it can also be incredibly painful in later life, not least because in these times of living longer, various changes of careers, etc. it is no longer uncommon for a person to have several significant relationships, and for every one that ends, there is likely to be some heartbreak involved.

In the process of feeling “broken hearted” we often become highly illogical in our thoughts, thinking things like “I will never love again” or “no one will ever love me again” or that “my life is over”!

Whilst this kind of negative thinking is quite normal, it isn’t accurate, and by repeating these thoughts to yourself over and over again, you are making yourself feel very much worse than you need be.

In truth, even though you may have suffered a great loss, there is absolutely no reason why you should not love, or be loved, again.

So part of the answer is to try your best to stop making wild assumptions about the future, and just concentrate instead on getting through the awfulness of the present.

You will need to look after yourself both physically and mentally and examine what your broken relationship was really like.

Then, and only then, can you begin to rebuild your social and romantic life.